and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
