But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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