Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
