Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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