i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
