I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
