the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
