my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
