i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
