I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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