I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
