Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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