It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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