I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
