So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?