You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.