i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE