my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
