About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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