Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
