2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
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Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
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Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize