hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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