im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize