that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
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We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
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I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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