fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
