Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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