Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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