So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
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Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
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I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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