I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
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using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
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We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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