five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
