she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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