She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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