Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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