I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Damn victory sex feels great
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
