I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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