I cockslap morals
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
