No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
