I just saw a hot homeless man
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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