Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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