i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize