He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
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she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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