Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
