Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
