K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
