How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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