In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
