I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
