The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I'm really busy with my period
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