To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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