What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
