I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
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Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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