Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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