Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
