I think i sorta joined a cult last night
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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