Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
