I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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