Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
