Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I believe in your delicious
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize