I can't breathe out the right side of my face
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
