Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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