im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Farmville is her only friend.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
