I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
