the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
