Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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