dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
