Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
