Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
