It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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